Body jokes
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
Why did Ross fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
It's snot fair!
Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.
Yo mama so fat that when she was in Uranus, she picked her butthole.
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
Penis.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Willies.
Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!