Body jokes
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
What is a skeleton's favorite food?
Ribs.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.