When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
What's a bulls favorite body part? an Eye-BULL!!
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
I have no legs
what goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isnt sexual ( insulin ) for more of these jokes go to diabeticjokeswww.foralaugh.com
What hangs low?
Balls.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Nobody nose how bad you smell
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
