"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he's dead and I I'm a virgin the 3d one says I can't I'm on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it's not like he doesn't smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body...........
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose Nobody nose
is your body from mcdonalds cuz im loving it
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick: I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's 🤣
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Max heart and his gay cousin nickals amoto say i back out a fight when he said let's fight then last minute he said he don't want to then says i chickened out i ready to fight but his gut swolled his arms he actually looks like humpty dumpty but just wanted to say he backed out + max and nickals are both gay with each other
I watched a movie about bones it was spine-tackler
how many cats are in the human body none unless your Asian
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
