Body jokes
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
It's snot fair!
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
Lick my BALLS!