Body jokes
You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
It's snot fair!
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"