Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Body Jokes
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
More like your anus.
What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Butt Morice - ( i ) ( - )@( - ) \ \ [] \ \ ( _ ) [] ( _ ) []
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
What's long, white, and thick? My dick.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
