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I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?

Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.

What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?

Dark humor.

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    • Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

    I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

    Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?

    Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?

    Because she had none of the above.

    My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

    Well, because it's impastable.

    What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!

    So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

    After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

    So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

    What is different about priests and acne?

    Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.

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