Body jokes
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Connor pooped himself.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.