What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
Blowjob Jokes
What do JFKβs killer and a prostitute have in common?
βThey both blow heads.β
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
π π« π€ π³ π π¨ π© π¨
Why did a bisexual man wanted a physically handicapped βΏ π¨βπΌ π¨ π¬ gay man to give him a anonymous blowjob under the stall inside the men'restroom π» πΉ at a restarea? because getting a blowjob from a call girl π§ cost $75.00 π¬ π¬ π¬ π¬ π¬ π¬ π π π π π π¬ π¬ π¬ π¬ π¬ π π π π π
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
π€ What do gay men who are physically handicapped βΏ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when π€ he has another man's π π π π π³ π cock inside π of his warm mouth π π give a π π good blowjob?
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they canβt take real meat.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
What is a gay man's favorite job?
A blowjob.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym πͺ πͺ ποΈββοΈ or at the rest area βΏοΈ πΉ π½.
