Sexual Activity jokes
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
I suck dick.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.