Black jokes

Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.

Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.

He was charged for impersonating a police officer.

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

What do you call a house party for slaves?

An auction house.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

Big black ball sacks.

If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?