Black jokes

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?

Alabama wind chimes.

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. What happened to freedom of speech?

What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says mo mo.

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

Black people run fast.

Why is it that when in PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but in public when I say "blacks against whites" or "boys against girls" I'm the bad guy?