What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
Black Jokes
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What did the white girl say to the black girl?
"Where's the back?"
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
What's long, black, and sticky?
A stick.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
