Black jokes
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do you call a black coconut?
A CoonConut.
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person?
One has a dad, while the other searches.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.