Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
Birth Jokes
I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.
Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.
Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"
"It's a girl."
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.
"Dustin Jordan Manna should have been an abortion."
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
