Birth jokes
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
Here [are] some questions firesharky:
1. What color hair do u have?
2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?
3. What state [were] u born in?
Do not say I don't know.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
The thing my mom birthed.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."