Birth jokes
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
The thing my mom birthed.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.