Birth

Birth jokes

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.

Their life is a joke.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...