Birth jokes
What’s another name for a woman giving birth?
Unloading the dishwasher.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.
Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"
Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"
Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."
Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.
Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"
Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.