New Birth Jokes

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

Is it so? Do people get freedom?

Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.

I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.

Their life is a joke.

When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.

What [is] another name for an abortion?

Canceling your delivery.

Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.

What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?

Ohhh, an owner.

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”