Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
why cant orphans never get a car? cause they don't have a birth certificate
What day are twins born the most Toos-day
Why are the Twin tower actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
here some questions firesharky, 1-What color hair do u have? 2-Whats MY parents names? What hospital where u born in. 3-What state where u born in? Do not say i dont know.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
In america, mom births you.
In soviet russia, you birth mom.
The thing my mom birthed.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
