Birth jokes
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.