Biology

Biology jokes

Enzyme

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

Period

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

Bat

Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.

Insult

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Mom

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Cannibal

I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.

Nose

What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?

Both have noses.

Cell

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

Baby

There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"

"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.

"I want to be a hunter."

"Why?" the other babies ask.

"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."

Mitosis

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)

Grape

What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?

Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.