Biology jokes
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
What is a difference between a tree and...
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.