Biology jokes

What do you call a fish with no parents?

An orfin.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh.

Don't you feel an empty feeling...

IN YOUR SKULL!

"Where do young trees go to learn?"

"Elementree school."

Why do women get periods?

Just cancel the subscription.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?

Zeedonk.

What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?

Both have noses.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fffffsshhhhhh

Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.

There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"

"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.

"I want to be a hunter."

"Why?" the other babies ask.

"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)

What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?

Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

What type of bees give milk?

Boob-bees.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.