What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Biology Jokes
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
There are only two genders.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
I don't get mitosis.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
God creates a mosquito :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.
Angel: weird... but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: .-.
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
