Biology jokes
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
I don't get mitosis.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!