Beverage jokes
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?