A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
