Beverage jokes
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Memes
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!