Beverage jokes
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.