Beverage jokes
What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.