Beverage jokes
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Memes
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.