Beverage jokes
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
"Among Us" tea water.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.