Beverage jokes
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Memes
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
Pop a choccy milk!
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.