Beverage jokes
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Memes
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.