Beverage jokes
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.