Beverage jokes
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.