Beverage jokes
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Memes
Fantasy
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
I love almond milk. Itβs unlike any udder milk.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...
What do you call a Mexican who canβt find the bar?
Barlos.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "Iβve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.