Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
what kind of mountain does everyone like? mountain dew!!! hahah
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey? Because proper tea is theft.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?
Dr. Dre Pepper
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages. One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
AYO IMAGINE HAVING A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN BUT INSTEAD ITS COST A BILLION DOLLARS A GALLON AND YOU HAVE A HUNDRED THOUSANDS THAT NUMBER WILL NEVER EQUATE TO HOW MANY PORNO MAGAZINES AND ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AND MALY LIQUORS STOLEN FROM MY BROTHER BEDROOM AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT AT BEING EDGY AYO MAYBE INSTEAD OF THE FUTURE CARS BEING POWERED BY PETROLEUM OIL AND GASS BUT WITH HOT CHOCOLATE
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
