Beverage jokes

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because the dad never came with the milk.

Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

Would you like some wine with those French cries?

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

What do an M&M and juice have in common?

Window.

Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.

Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?

Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?

'Cause their dad never came back with it.

I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.

What do elephants drink on vacation?

Peanut coladas.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.