Best jokes
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
Ching chong kading dong.
(My best words ever used).
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Your mom's my dad. Think about that!
Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.