What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11. My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
