Best jokes

What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.

What is the best thing about being an orphan?

All bags of chips are family-sized!

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

What is the best joke of all time?

Feminism.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?

"You're breathtaking."

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.