Best jokes

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

What was the computer's best pickup line?

Nice bits!

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

What is the best thing about being an orphan?

All bags of chips are family-sized!

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

Grandma pointed to the campfire.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

What's the best cheese in the world?

Dick cheese.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.