Best jokes
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Cooper is the best to ever live.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)