Best jokes
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?