Best

Best Jokes

Plane

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"

"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"

They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

Shark

Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

Because dead babies make the best chum! :)

  • 0
  • Aiden

    Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!

    Part

    What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

    Comic

    Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…

    A three-panel comic strip from the Joking Hazard Random Comic Generator. The first panel shows two figures. One says, "My wife just died." The second panel shows the same two figures now smiling at each other. The third panel shows one of them saying, "HELL YEAH!" The comic generator website is titled "RANDOM COMIC GENERATOR 3.0" with the description "Millions of combinations! Create and share your own!".

    Text

    The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

    Day

    I had the BEST day EVER.

    1: I woke up.

    2: I met someone I'm sad about.

    3: I had fun and got them back again online.

    But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

    Gun

    Why are the best used guns from France?

    Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

    Circus

    Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?

    Person 2: No.

    Person 1: It was in-tents.

    Christmas

    What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

    What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

    What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

    What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

    Plumber

    Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.

    He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.

    Cremation

    Setting: Funeral Home

    Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

    Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

    Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

    Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

    Customer: Okay?

    Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

    By: MiniMemorials.com

    Nun

    A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

    While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

    "Nun" kills the two guys.

    🤔

  • 4
  • Baseball

    Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

    1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

    3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

    4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

    5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

    6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

    7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

    8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

    Interest

    Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

    I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...