My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
If your sisert makes you 100% mad, slap your siert.
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Guys, if y'all don't stop making hatred stuff, I'm contacting admin.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
