Behavior jokes
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
If your sisert makes you 100% mad, slap your siert.
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.