Behavior jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.