Behavior jokes
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
You are all fucking disgusting!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.