Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
An emo tried to high-five a tree. The tree left her hanging.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
