Behavior jokes
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.