Behavior jokes
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
What is the difference between a man peering through the key hole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is rude and nosy.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Mooning is very astrological!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
Why am I naughty?
Because I want to be....
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.