Behavior jokes

What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

Women are like dogs...

"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"

"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"

"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."

SHOES

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

How does the dog dance?

He doesn't... he's dead.

WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.

Shaenaya likes goat dick.

Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.

Don't bully. Lol.

Don't bully.

When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.

We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"

If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"