When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
