Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
Suc my dic
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To show he wasn't a chicken.
You're overreacting.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.
Why do animals hate playing card games with foxes?
They’re a bunch of cheetahs!
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
