Bear jokes
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
How many children does Explain Bear have?
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.