This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery...I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species. I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why can't pooh bear catch a date. Because he is always talking about his honey.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s momma bear’s favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole
Look for the gummy bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos and extras.
Mary: If you born pikin (Child) inside shop wetin you go call that pikin(child) Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled
What do you call a teddy bear that Fool
Stuffed
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills. The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation. The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue. In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
What does a bear beat off with? His bear hands
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Chuck Norris gets paid 2m dollars a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth”
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
