"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
Bear Jokes
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Why are bears' hair so sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
