Bear Jokes

Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?

Becasue he was too stuffed.

why didint the teddy bear want to go to the gym

:Because he didnt wasnt to get ripped

why couldn't the teddy bear finish his desert?

he was stuffed.

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day. Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

I saw a bear eating a duck.It was unBEARable.

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear

So if you say a bear shoots children and leah likes Mason Boswells and I go to Benjamin adlard year 6

U SO SKINNY U CAN BEARLY FIT THROUGH A DOOR CRACK

Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.

Whats brown and hairy.... a bear. Whats brown, hairy and is in love with Ethan Herbst ... Arij

What did one bear reply to his bad pun? BEAR WITH ME!!

A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!

Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank!

This Joke is about Koala bears. It is High Koala-ty.

what do you call a person who smokes? Smokey the bear

A B C D E F G. Gummy bears are chasing me one is red one one is blue.one is chewing up my shoe.now i'm running for my life because the red ones got a knife