Bear jokes
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
bro didnt even get the words right
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.