Bear

Bear jokes

Coffee

    • I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

    1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

    I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

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    • Whore

    • Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

    Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"

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    • Wordplay

    • God: Why is the teenager so short?

    Angel: I don't know.

    God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"

    Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."

    God: No, I didn't!

    Bear memes

    Dollar

    • Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

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    • Short jokes

    • How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

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    • Name

    • 1. Full name: John.

    2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

    3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

    4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

    5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

    6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

    7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

    8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

    9. Working motivation: none.

    I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

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    • Waitress

    • So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

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