Bear jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool? The dry bear.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Explain Bear, I want to kiss you.
Yo Mama so dumb, she needs 10 explanation bears to understand you.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."