Bear jokes

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

Hello explain bear my love 💕💕

What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?

Stuffed.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.

Why are bears' hair so sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.

In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.

Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?

Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.

The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.

The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.

In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.

What does a bear beat off with?

His bear hands.

What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?

Have a blood transfusion.

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”