Bear Jokes

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Me everyday

A brown bear is standing in rushing water with a fish in its mouth. Text overlayed on the image reads: "me, doing something i'm perfectly capable of and have done before, but someone decides to watch". The source of the image is given as boredpanda.com

I can’t remember if I already said this or not I might of already said this also this is a true story. So I’m walking into a store in Amish country and there’s this guy with a bear trap then my moms friend says this guys gonna catch some bears then the Amish guy stop looks around and whispers “it’s for democrats”

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

bully: who you looking at me: a bulid a bear bully: where me : look in the mirror

What do you call a dead polar bear?

Anything they can't hear you

I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.

Hi Explain Bear, how are youuu!

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

How many children does Explain Bear have?

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.

Why I turn around?

Infopka.com

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"