Bear jokes
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.