A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
I saw a bear eating a duck.
It was unBEARable.
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
