Battle

Battle jokes

Scratch

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Truck

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

'Cause they only had 4 trucks.

Homophobe

If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:

"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?

To sweep the competition!

War

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

War

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

Iran: So?

Japan: Twice!

War

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

War

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

Sister

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

Knight

Why did the knights laugh when they run?

The grass tickled their balls. 😅😂🤣

Trap

What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?

The Jap trap.