Battle jokes
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the rap battle?
For WORDPLAY!
Memes
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.
Why did the knights laugh when they run?
The grass tickled their balls. 😅😂🤣
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.