Battle jokes
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.