Battle jokes
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.