Baby Jokes

Im going to do a song thats called Falling by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes

My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down

What's the difference between dark humour and morbid humour?

Dark humour is 10 babys in a trash can Morbid humour is 1 baby in 10 trash cans

Ok Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD- My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down

Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.

5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Nurse: Don't worry i'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yea, i always abort them. Parent:... Parent: Your hired

Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees Even got her name on 'em I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em Up and down the boulevard In and out of every bar I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house

This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left. - Do Re Mi- By- blackbear Do, re, mi, fa, so (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh) Do, re, mi, fa, so (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met I probably would just stay in bed You run your mouth all over town And this one goes out to the sound Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover Pay me back, or bitch it's over All the presents I would send Fuck my friends behind my shoulder Next time, I'ma stay asleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh And you got me thinkin' lately Bitch, you crazy And nothing's ever good enough I wrote a little song for ya It go like Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl So fuckin' done with all the games you play I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe Send the X and O's on another note I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh) If I could go back to the day we met I probably would've stayed in bed You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent Designer shoes and Xanax tabs Compliments your make-up bag You never had to buy yourself a drink 'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime And you got me thinkin' lately Bitch, you crazy And nothing's ever good enough I wrote a little song for ya It go like Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl So fuckin' done with all the games you play I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe Send the X and O's on another note I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh) I wrote a little song for you, it go like Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl So fuckin' done with all the games you play I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe Send the X and O's on another note I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Do, re, mi, fa, so (Yeah, yeah, yeah) So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It is pasture your bed time

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

da baby

What’s a Sheeps Favorite Song?

Baby Don’t Herd Me.

How do you paint a wall red?

You shoot a baby with a .50 cal

i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig

she started crying

How do you get a baby into a small bowl? A blender. How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week, I picked the not so big buisness and places to do pranks phone calls. Burger King. Jcpennys. and nighbors. I will tell you what I said. Me: "Hello this is...Zariana and I am from New York." Burger king staff: "Will we work in Florida." Me: "Good now I want a large cake with some salad...with some eggnog...and some baby food" Burger king: "We don't serve any of that ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go please!" Burger king staff: "Sorry ma'am we don't ha- " And I hung up on him right before he could say have. Now JCPenneys ordering. Me: "Hello this is Trina from south carolina." Jcpennys register: "Yes what can I don for you ma'am ?" Me: "Excuse me"? Jcpennys register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with ma'am." Me: "Sorry I can't hear you...what!" Jcpennys register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER MA'AM." Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" Jcpennys register: "Ma'am can you hear correclty?" Me: "YES I CAN...NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" Jcpennys register: "No ma'am I was just saying tha-" Hung up. Next one was on my nigbores. Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you but do you know what this word mean fhermkrekm"? Mrs. Jarkinson: "What who is this?" Me: "Ummm...Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: " So what does what word mean again?'' Me: " fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on here now Mr. Morris. Me: "Hola Sr. Morris. que pasa" Mr. Morris: "Sorry what I don't speake spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used tranlater app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait but what does tha-" I bet your wondering how I got these phone calls rememberd will I recorded them! I don't how but I did. Btw Not spanish just learn really quickly.

Good For You-Remake-By- watersharky Productions and Olivia Rodrigo- Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (Ah-ah-ah-ah) And good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby God, I wish that I could do that I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it But I guess good for you Well, good for you, I guess you're gettin' everything you want (ah) You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off (ah) It's like we never even happened Baby, what the fuck is up with that? (Ha) And good for you, it's like you never even met me Remember when you swore to God I was the only Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby God, I wish that I could do that I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it But I guess good for you Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah Maybe I'm too emotional But your apathy's like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all Maybe I'm too emotional Your apathy is like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby Like a damn sociopath I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it But I guess good for you Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily