Baby jokes
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
D.K. is back, baby!
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope? Stopping it with a shovel.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."