Baby jokes

Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!

What day is Labor Day?

It's the day mommies have their babies.

What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?

Dodge the coat hanger!

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on one.

What do you call a baby in the crib?

Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.

What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?

Joshua Metcalfe

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Blueface baby!

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

What is a baby's favorite song?

"Baby" by Justin Bieber.

What's the grossest thing ever?

A bag of dead babies.

What's even more gross?

The bottom one is still wriggling!

When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.