Baby jokes

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

Throwing the baby off a cliff.

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.

How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"