Baby jokes

Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?

A. Rape babies.

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

Throwing the baby off a cliff.

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.

How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."