Baby jokes

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Why do cows have babies?

They moo-ved together.

I'm alive, baby!

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

What do you call a lion as a baby?

Cocota

I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.

Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!

I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.

Mama milky?

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!

Baby (DYM 108).