Baby jokes

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

Louie Fennell.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

How do you get 50 babies into a car?

You blend them.

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!

D.K. is back, baby!

Baby (DYM 108).

Why did the baby cow cross the road?

To find its mom who has the milk.

What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?

The cream of the crop.

Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?

God chose Plan B.