Baby jokes

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.

How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

Louie Fennell.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

How do you get 50 babies into a car?

You blend them.

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!