Reptile jokes
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
What is the best type of snake? A dead one.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
here is a cute lil guy for anybody having a bad day
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?