Reptile jokes
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
I like turtles.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What鈥檚 the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can鈥檛 abuse an alligator.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let鈥檚 go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great 蟺thon.
What do you call it when a lizard can鈥檛 get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.