Baby jokes
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
me when my mom wakes me up!
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.