Baby

Baby jokes

Son

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

Difference

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Refrigerator

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

Memes

Orange Juice

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Candy

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

Throwing the baby off a cliff.

Skunk

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

People

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

Circle

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

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  • Hairline

    I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

    Huggy Wuggy

    Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

    They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

    Liver

    Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

    Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

    Relationship

    How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

    FEW!!!!!!!

    Car

    Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

    Pikachu

    Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.

    How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!

    Hooker

    This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

    Abortion

    What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.