What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Um honey I'm glad your done but um WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I"M PRETTY SURE FACES DON"T BEND THAT WAY!!
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment? Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
A father is talking to his three kids Kid 1: why is my name rose Dad:Because when you were a kid a rose fell on your head Kid 2: why is my name lily Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh Dad:oh hey Brick
Whats yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties
What did the mom say to the baby?
So there was 3 baby chickens and 2 mothers the first baby said "why am I named calf?" and the mother said "I f###ed a cow" then the second baby came up to it's mother and it said " why am I named b##ch? " and it's mom said "I f###ed a wolf and the final baby came to its mother and said "why am I named orphan?" And because it's mother wasn't there to see it this is what I have to say "because you are one you ducking hitch!!"
what do u call a baby in the crib.
boys and girls watch monsters inc
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but someone bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
I will always remember my baby sisters last words."What is the fire for?".
Person: you suck!!!!! Me: tell that to your mom and she’ll say the same thing, honey 😎
Travis has baby hands
How does you make a baby astronaut sleep? You rock-it
your mamma so ugly when the baby came out of her the baby didn't cry the baby said what the hell is this shit and walked out of the hospital.
What's worse than finding 1 dead baby in a bin? Finding 1 dead baby in 5 bins.
When you were born your mother said, oh what a treasure, your father said, yeah let’s go burry it
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
